July 14, 2017.
Friday Top Five

July 14, 2017.

Welcome to Friday’s Top Five: a new, recurring Friday review of things I learned through the week. Or, in other words, something to ponder when I can’t think of anything funny.

Friday is the perfect time to reflect on everything you’ve learned and prepare for your next Hulu marathon. But before the weekend officially hits, grab a coffee and digest this knowledge.

  1. “You’ve changed” is a compliment. The way people talk about people who’ve changed has always felt like a diss. Rappers defend themselves left and right for having changed, but this week I’m “brand new” and loving it. Jay Z said it best, “I would’ve went insane had I remained the same me.” The me I was last year was pretty miserable, so I’m enjoying new me and when you tell me you see the difference, that’s like a pat on the back. Thank you for noticing.
  2. Happiness is finding things: lost jewelry, lost chapstick, chocolate you thought you already ate. I went into work Monday and found all of the things, then proceeded to crush the entire work week.
  3. There’s a feature in Powerpoint that’s dumb and will fuck up a bomb ass presentation. For weeks I’ve been saving Powerpoints and helplessly watching the images revert to Blackberry quality. I finally decided to Google a solution and it turned out there’s an easy fix. Now I can impress people with stylish presentations in hi-res.
  4. According to the intro of Investing for Dummies there’s something called a money market mutual fund that functions as a cash equivalent, meaning the funds can quickly be made into cash, except it makes more money than a traditional bank account. I’m only on page 15 of the book so don’t expect a full dissertation on the investing. I’m just getting started.
  5. July 13th is National French Fry Day. How do I know? My past self told me via Facebook. None of you selfish mfers told me and that’s despicable. It’s legit enough that I was able to find an article on Fortune’s website on how to get free fries, yet I can tell you nothing more about the evil mastermind who thought it up.

Until next week.

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