Permission

No sins as long as there’s permission, and deception is the only felony, so never fuck nobody without telling me.

Kanye West

One of the first things my job trained me to do was ask permission. A year and a half later, I get it.

I feel like I’m about to preach.

Permission in customer service is a concept that can be the difference between disrespecting your customer and gaining their trust.

Picture this: You’re at Micro Center, not in the mood to talk to somebody and a sales associate comes over and starts asking you a shit ton of questions. Going through your mind are the terms, “Shut up!”, “Fuck off!,” and best of all, “Did I ask to be interrogated?” Maybe you’ll realize that you didn’t ask and get offended that your polite attitude is being tested by the forwardness of a stranger.

If you go for that kind of thing consider this:

Do you like giving your e-mail and address out? Do you like when cashiers ask you for that information without telling you why? My mom taught me that when the clothing store I visit once a year asks me for my e-mail I have the power to say “no thank you”. Some of ya’ll just dish out the info without giving it a second thought. But when they ask for it, they’re asking for your permission. You don’t have to permit them to spam your mailbox daily. Even the government recognizes that.

I digress. This is permission in the smaller sense. Permission is a sign of respect. By giving someone your permission you are opting in and not everybody deserves to insert themselves in your life.

Think larger: Not everybody deserves to insert their problems, their baggage, their insanity, their bad attitude, their negativity into your life. Opt out.

Do you permit bullshit? I don’t permit bullshit. Don’t entertain it, don’t love it, won’t live it.

A lot of people say they want control over their life, but haven’t taken the wheel.

Strong Women Fall

Queens fall from grace every day

Those tenacious, fearsome souls do indeed crumble at the hands of clever men
Cleopatra’s lost her throne, Queen Elizabeth’s gone rogue
Who is gonna bring their glory back
Before he steals it forever
All it takes is a common man
He sneaks into their hearts and their beds and their minds
Then the mask falls and the trickster reveals himself
It’s an old an old story, but nobody speaks of it
You’ve seen the pictures of a man grasping at a woman and her body angling into his like it fits perfectly
You don’t see what happens next
The confusion, the anger, the heartbreak
The intelligent, strong, incredible woman falling
And boy do they fall.

Introspection: A Note to Self

Do. Not. Self-destruct.

People are dangerous. They hurt you, unregrettably, irrevocably, and incessantly. I can’t tell you whether to forgive or defend yourself, but for now I am content with you doing whatever necessary to ease the pain.

Pushing people away helps. And I haven’t seen anything yet in life that says it is a mistake to do so. I’m sorry if you expected life to be more blissfully full of love and fulfillment.

Turns out, living with your mother is the best thing that ever happened to you, while love is the worst.
You’ve effectively remained closest to the only human being you can trust completely, while you’ve learned an important lesson. Trust no one else.

Disappointment is your greatest fear. And I get it, you’re tired of being let down. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, take this as an opportunity. An opportunity to distance yourself from people who are toxic to you and furthermore to become a stronger, wiser woman.

I like this new you that you’re becoming. It’s frightening how much you’re starting to resemble your mother now. She may not have many friends, but she can depend on herself. I’ve always feared becoming cold like her but I get that, too. I get why she doesn’t care to waste time on people who have less than her best interests of mine. She has the biggest heart of anyone I know yet she spends her time alone aside from the people she can’t remove herself from. I have a couple people like that, that I can’t let go of, but many more that I have to and haven’t been strong enough to let go of yet.

When you think of life, let it all fall to bits. Forget the facebook friends and twitter followers, forget the people who pretend to love you, forget the people who think of you as a discount, forget the frustration brought on at work, and how tired you feel fighting to forget the people you loved who could never love you back.

Focus on leaving your mark. That novel you want to make. That movie you want to engineer. That song you want a ridiculous songstress to eternalize. Focus on you. And if you’re lucky a couple of those fairy tales could fall in your lap.

Still, expect nothing from anyone but yourself. And don’t forget to pray.

Love Myself

I love who I am here. On is page. 

I love creating and I love knowing I created something.
Nothing is truly original but I do have ideas, conceptions, creations that are my own. This is what I take pride in.
I don’t measure my progress by the dollars but rather by how much I’ve created. I have the potential to do so much but sometimes it’s underutilized.
But when I finished that artwork, took those photos, and wrote that novel, damn I felt good about myself.
Therefore, being here on this page is one way I put more effort into loving myself.