20 Thoughts While Watching Dragon Ball Super

8 days. 131 episodes. I did that. I nerded out on Dragon Ball Super every hour I wasn’t working and my reaction videos would’ve been the greatest of all time.

Unfortunately, there are no such records of me going championship crazy so, I’ve decided to share my top 20 thoughts while watching Dragon Ball Super. Let’s relive the magic.

Warning: Spoilers ahead.

  1. Beerus is the greatest villain of all time off facial expressions alone.
  2. How dare Goku surpass Super Saiyan God in like 10 episodes.
  3. I appreciate the man that made King Kai’s Japanese voice awesome.
  4. Krillin is the original Neville Longbottom.
  5. Gohan needs to stop being a lame before I disown him.
  6. I’m practicing Jaco’s pose in the bathroom later.
  7. Piccoli is such a good dad.
  8. I hate Super Saiyan 3, or as I call it, the Ted Danson transformation.
  9. Monoka’s character makes me simultaneously uncomfortable and grateful for his existence.
  10. Did that man say “Super Saiyan Rosé”? *giggle*
  11. I CANNOT with the YouTube video of Piccolo doing the containment wave.
  12. This line from Vegeta after determining that Yamasu has the powers of immortality and ultimate strength: “All I need to know is that I’ll never forgive him!”
  13. “Goku, you imbecile!” And then again 5 minutes later.
  14. *Faceplam* Frieza, again?! Let that man rest in hell.
  15. Watching Sailor Moon will never be the same after Universe 2.
  16. “I’ll kill you.” I strive to be No. 18’s level of savage.
  17. “There goes that man!” every time Goku hit that Ultra Instinct. The GOAT.
  18. It’s just like Dragon Ball to draw out a 48-minute fight across 40, 20-minute episodes.
  19. That ending was lowkey annoying but “ok.”
  20. *Googles sequel*

Why I’m Secretly In Love with Pharrell Williams.

I’ve been in love with Pharrell Williams since 2002, I just didn’t realize it until today. I mean, you don’t just go through what we’ve gone through without developing a special connection. His weird phase, his other weird phase, his group weird phase, I lived through it all and was still like, “Nah, this dude is awesome.” I never left him. That’s true love.

I figured it out listening to “Hunter” off of his G I R L album. You know, the one where he says, “Hey, baby, my love is calling” and later whispers “sex is calling.” I was already halfway through singing the second chorus before it occurred to me, “This song is weird as fuck and I love it.” The whole album is just undefinable, from “Brand New” to “Gust of Wind,” just outside of any genre I know. I played G I R L all Summer ’14.

Image result for pharrell happy gif

What’s even stranger is it’s nothing like his first album. I flipped over to In My Mind just to reintroduce myself to Pharrell’s hip-hop side. He went from “my n*gga you can do it, too” to “because I’m happyyyyyyy.” I like that in a man. That man can kick it with Snoop and Slim Thug and then get an Academy Award for composing the Hidden Figures soundtrack. Sexy.

2002 was a special year for me. I had experienced enough life to know love – 2001 was life-changing if you know what I mean – and the “Pass the Courvoisier, Part II” music video came out. My favorite part of the video is when Busta Rhymes stomps on Mo’Nique’s toes a la Harlem Nights, but my second favorite part is watching Pharrell bob his head and rap in a tuxedo. My third favorite part is when Pharrell’s under the table looking like a scoundrel. Also sexy.

Image result for pharrell pass the courvoisier gif

Pharrell continued to give me the best he had after that. Well, actually, he gave it to the brown-skinned girl from the “Frontin'” music video, but I guess she earned it that time. That Neptunes sound was and is perfect to me. Spacey like it says, but always right on time. That Justified album had me thinking I loved Justin, but it was Pharrell all along (Chad Hugo gets some props, I guess). I thought I was a real Jay-Z fan until I realized all my favorite Jay songs were on a “Produced by the Neptunes” playlist. And when I thought I was getting too spacey myself, he’d pop up like “all the girls standing in the line for the bathroom” or do some other N.E.R.D. shit to make feel like being “out there” was just another way of saying “dope.” He even wrote my favorite song of all time, “U Don’t Have to Call” by Usher. “True playa, fa real. Ask my n*gga, Pharrell.”

Did you know my man wrote lyrics for “Shake Ya Rump”? Have you ever heard of the middle name Lanscilo? No, you haven’t. Did you know his dad’s name is Pharaoh? I would name my first son Pharaoh.

To make us even more perfect, neither of us age. In thirty years, we’re both gonna finally look thirty. Meant to be.

Image result for pharrell gif

non c’è bene.

I’ve run out of anime to watch. The plots of the novels I’ve been picking up just aren’t interesting enough. My easel hasn’t been touched since the day I stood it upright.

Occasionally I find something to fall in love with – twerk music, a day in the sun, a view of the biggest hole in the ground – but the only thing that’s been able to hold my adoration is my Doberman’s smile. Instead of enjoying that smile right now, I’m passing my time worrying, an exercise I know to be futile.

The other day I found out my dog may need a dental procedure. Not like the kind that is covered by my insurance that involves some moderate gum poking and an immediate dose of whatever the fuck I want to eat. The kind where they inject anesthesia and clean and polish and x-ray and give your dog back to you after a couple hours and a thousand dollars have fled. It’s not the end of the world, but it’s getting to me because I’m already not in my best mood.

I am bothered.

What I need and what I have are totally in alignment. A roof over my head, a job to pay my bills, a paid vacation, a loving family – they’re mine, all mine. To make me really feel like a jackass, I remind myself that I can also afford the privileges of eating healthy and trying new things on a whim. Yesterday, I registered for a cooking class. Yet and still, I’m not satisfied.

This is dumb.

This is life. I’m not sure what the problem is, but I’m smart enough to know two things: nothing lasts forever and spring is coming!