non c’è bene.

non c’è bene.

I’ve run out of anime to watch. The plots of the novels I’ve been picking up just aren’t interesting enough. My easel hasn’t been touched since the day I stood it upright.

Occasionally I find something to fall in love with – twerk music, a day in the sun, a view of the biggest hole in the ground – but the only thing that’s been able to hold my adoration is my Doberman’s smile. Instead of enjoying that smile right now, I’m passing my time worrying, an exercise I know to be futile.

The other day I found out my dog may need a dental procedure. Not like the kind that is covered by my insurance that involves some moderate gum poking and an immediate dose of whatever the fuck I want to eat. The kind where they inject anesthesia and clean and polish and x-ray and give your dog back to you after a couple hours and a thousand dollars have fled. It’s not the end of the world, but it’s getting to me because I’m already not in my best mood.

I am bothered.

What I need and what I have are totally in alignment. A roof over my head, a job to pay my bills, a paid vacation, a loving family – they’re mine, all mine. To make me really feel like a jackass, I remind myself that I can also afford the privileges of eating healthy and trying new things on a whim. Yesterday, I registered for a cooking class. Yet and still, I’m not satisfied.

This is dumb.

This is life. I’m not sure what the problem is, but I’m smart enough to know two things: nothing lasts forever and spring is coming!

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