I’ve run out of anime to watch. The plots of the novels I’ve been picking up just aren’t interesting enough. My easel hasn’t been touched since the day I stood it upright.
Occasionally I find something to fall in love with – twerk music, a day in the sun, a view of the biggest hole in the ground – but the only thing that’s been able to hold my adoration is my Doberman’s smile. Instead of enjoying that smile right now, I’m passing my time worrying, an exercise I know to be futile.
The other day I found out my dog may need a dental procedure. Not like the kind that is covered by my insurance that involves some moderate gum poking and an immediate dose of whatever the fuck I want to eat. The kind where they inject anesthesia and clean and polish and x-ray and give your dog back to you after a couple hours and a thousand dollars have fled. It’s not the end of the world, but it’s getting to me because I’m already not in my best mood.
I am bothered.
What I need and what I have are totally in alignment. A roof over my head, a job to pay my bills, a paid vacation, a loving family – they’re mine, all mine. To make me really feel like a jackass, I remind myself that I can also afford the privileges of eating healthy and trying new things on a whim. Yesterday, I registered for a cooking class. Yet and still, I’m not satisfied.
This is dumb.
This is life. I’m not sure what the problem is, but I’m smart enough to know two things: nothing lasts forever and spring is coming!