Playlists

My life is shaded to match the colors of a musical playlist. Often I can remember exactly where I was when I first fell in love with a song. I associate different songs with night rides and others with naked gyrations. I take it everywhere. In my car, in the office, on a run, in my distract able brain. I even took your most familiar written image and had it tattooed.

We’ve become so familiar, me and music, that I trust you with my deepest, darkest moments.
You’ve always found a way to relate to my joys and pains. I thank you for reminding me how human emotion is. Even the most silent, painful ones.
I thug out to DMX. Let it encapsulate my anger and release it. When I’m in between and just flowing with life Eric Benet is my most chosen drug. He just feels it all. 
I share my pain with Alicia and Erykah Badu. Yes, sometimes I convince myself I’m loved by “nobody, not really.”And there’s no wonder we women build twenty foot walls. 
When I think about colleges and other wreckless times, I turn to Gucci Mane. Too real. Lemonade, though?! Guaranteed banger. I used “Bet I Bust” and other inappropriate things all up and down college avenues in the whip.
Sometimes I simply chase a song that haunts me. Songs so melodically beautiful they bring a tear to my eye: The Prayer, Mood for Love, This Bed I Made. 
And sometimes I run from you. Plagued by what and who R Kelly, Hov, and Ginuwine remind me of. Foolishly, I find myself drawn to sexy songs. Crooning about scratches and love…in this club until loneliness overwhelms me because nobody’s caressing me.
But there’s always another playlist to help me. The anthems. Stevie Wonder paints the word sunshine yellow. I drink in the champagne life and remind myself “you gon’ miss me when I’m gone.” And before long I’m dusting myself off, thinking Angie Stone would surely approve.
Thank you. I love you, playlist.

The Meaning of Life

Lately, people have got me thinking about the meaning of life.

And already, I think I know what it is. The meaning of life is creating meaning.
That’s it.
Deepak Chopra taught me to consider each individual a creator of reality. We create our experiences by interpreting reality. We even recreate ourselves every moment. 
I think God made us in his image by giving us creative power.
Consider ideas – the building blocks for meaningful things and experiences.
Now imagine having this idea of a beautiful place of complexity and emotion, with life and death.    Would it be enough for you to hold onto that idea? Or should you watch it pan out, something like a play?
I think God decided on a script and scene and characters…this reality we share is the product of that. 
He’s just watching to see what meaning we create out of His script. To see what meaning we create in this life He’s given us.
My thoughts…

“Ambition”

I keep feeling like people’ve got ambition all wrong. All my ambitious brothers and sisters chase the images and figures they see televised. The glamour, the fans, the money, the businesses bearing their name. Why not chase the mindset of those happy with their success? I aim to be respected, to share my joy, to create experiences that people can relate to and interact with. If I do these things well, the rest will surely come.

Imagine the empty victory, however, that you will experience when you’re at the top, alone, and angry because you drove people away. Because you let “ambition” get in the way of the joy you were truly aiming for.