Tangents (Part 1)

He smiled at me.
One of those wicked smiles that’s both an introduction and a finale.
I couldn’t help but imagine him imagining me sensually.
In my mind he was admiring everything about me that could be appreciated at a moment’s glance
and I was here hoping he liked what he saw.
Because if he did, he might be more likely to wrap his arms around my waist.
Tight.
Just.
Like.
That.
And I would inhale him completely.
In this dream his warmth swallows me and I wake up beside him.
Blinking hard.
Trying to remember how I got there.
Backtracking, my dress is hiked up so that my thigh starts where the countertop ends and he’s…
Oh.

I got lost in thought for a second.
Let’s take a step back from heaven.

But my mind wanders again.
Suddenly you’re my best friend.
Late night phone calls become daily excursions, become achy hearts, and fear of separation.
But at the moment we’re laughing.
Doesn’t matter where we are, but my mind is so open to doing anything.
As long as it’s with him.
And he just gave me a ring that promises something I feel like I already knew.
Forever?
Inevitable.
Us?
Inseparable.
I swear I saw this moment, the moment that I met you.

I get lost in thought for a second too long.
You see how heaven did me wrong?

Leap back into reality.
I’m anxious.
At the simple thought of this reality.
I’m scared.
Of admitting that they’re a part of me.
And terrified.
That you have no interest in this possibility.
See, for the first time, I have to acknowledge an alternate reality.
Where you and me?
Never were.
And never will
Be.
I need to chill
before I get too ahead of myself.
Let down my guard
Mess around
And
Fall down
Through all these tangents.